At Omaha HAVEN we strive to assist families in transitioning between public and home-school settings and provide opportunities for Latter-Day Saint home-school families and their friends to connect in meaningful ways. Everyone is welcome to utilize this resource and participate in activities as we each seek to fulfill our divine charge--to build families that are respectful, educated, compassionate, faith-filled contributors to a civil society.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2022

"If You Are a Special Needs Parent, and You Don't Think You Can Do This, You Can!"

by Jennifer Braithwaite

(Written Sept. 2020)
 
It wasn’t supposed to work out this way. But that’s the story of life, isn’t it? I was the mom who NEEDED her kids to GO to school. When my youngest went into all day kindergarten, I was finally home alone! About 4 years later…out of the blue, a quiet, soft voice told me I needed to homeschool. WHAT??! I CANNOT do that! Obviously, there were things I needed to learn. Funny how that works.

My youngest 2 children are special needs. My son had a stroke at birth which affected his left side and my youngest daughter has a chromosome deletion, a genetic condition called Cri-du-Chat. She is mentally and physically behind her peers. They both have had therapy services since they were 2 years old. They had qualified professionals helping them with the transitions of school and routines. I went to their IEP meetings and discussed what their goals should be; well, mostly what the professionals thought their goals should be. We lived in one of the top school districts in the country that was sought out for its programs they had for special needs children. Why would I want to homeschool? I have all the support I need right here!

But that voice kept coming.

Well, my husband was willing to try this experiment, but he thought it was crazy. I talked to my homeschooling friends and read all the books I could find about homeschooling. Lots of prayers and fasting were a huge part of the decision as well. In 2013 my husband lost his job, and we were moving to Omaha, so we decided to start then. After a 6 month de-schooling period, we got out the books. But if I were honest, wouldn’t it be great if school was ONLY playing games, going outside, taking walks, cooking, working together, field trips, and reading together?

My son was on grade level, so it was pretty straight forward with him. Throughout his schooling, I have tried to be generally hands off. He was starting 8th grade and was old enough to be self motivated. He is now 20 and is doing a service mission at the Bishop’s Storehouse.

My daughter was in 5th grade when we started, but in all those years at a top rated public school, with all the services, she couldn’t read, or write, or do any math. I basically had to start at the very basic pre-k or kindergarten level. She is now 17, and while she is technically in 2nd or 3rd grade in understanding, she can read chapter books, she can write and is slowly learning cursive, and finally last year (2019)she started remembering and figuring out math facts. It has been a very slow, frustrating, stressful past 7 years. I have basically repeated the same thing each year, but changed up a little to see what works better. There was a lot of trial and error, but we made progress. But it has also been the best 7 years because of all that I have learned along the way. She is technically a senior this year, but I think we will just continue learning together and growing more and more. I don’t know what her future is, but God does, and he will help me help her find her path.

I have learned more patience than I thought possible. I have learned how my kids learn. I have learned to let go. I have learned that having a network of homeschooling families have been a life saver. I have learned that I can do hard things. I have learned that God will qualify us for what He asks us to do. I have met people and been introduced to ideas that I never would have found if I hadn’t taken this huge leap. I am not perfect, I will not be able to teach my kids everything, but I know our relationship during these last 7 years has been strengthened and my kids are so much better because of it.

If you are a special needs parent, and you don’t think you can do this, you can! If you think God is calling you to homeschool, I promise he will give you people, tools, and mostly patience for what He is asking you to do.